Blog by:
Katherine Lily Mae Harris
I use medical #marijuana for a #spine injury, #ptsd, a right #bicep tendon issue (the repair didn’t have time to heal before he crippled my spine, and I needed mobility aids) & #endometriosis.
When I was a young person and used marijauna, I would have then called it recreational.
As an adult #woman, having the perspective I have as a maternal figure, (which is my nature, unfortunately) but being applied to how I view my life has been helpful in healing and accurately processing my #life and #trauma.
I look back to that young woman who had endured so much in silence, and I think, wow…..we made it.
A wise woman said to me, ‘marijuana can be used as a repressor.’ (She was a special victims D.A that sat with me while my abusive ex, was being arraigned for breaking his bail conditions, the charge he had bail conditions for, was abusing me. I dropped the charges against him. I was young.)
She gave me something to think about. In fact; I stopped using marijuana at all, without telling my ex. Then I noticed things that before I was too willing to let slide. It really helped me process the severity of the relationship. It helped me gain the strength to leave him.
His abuse left some impact on my #physical body as well. After I left him, I injured my left shoulder muscle, during a dinner shift, at work. It was the remnants of his abuse working its way from my body.
I used marijauna, #yoga postures, #meditation, #acupuncture, #movement, #bellydance, #massage and Chinese medicine to heal.
This was before #medicalmarijuana was LEGAL and recreational marijuana was not even talked about back then, in 2009.
I completely #healed my body and after that, marijauna was a rare part of my life. Only featuring in my life about 3 times over the next decade plus.
I did donate my belly dance time to spread awareness for the benefits of marijuana, for kids with cancer and other diseases. I believe in it.
I know first hand the #powerful healing benefits this plant medicine holds.
Still at that time, I wouldn’t have said I used it as medicine.
Now, I absolutely would.
When I got my medical card it was 2018. At the suggestion of my abusive ex fiancé. He wanted to smoke it, so I got the card so he could. I wanted to try it for myself because I don’t like how narcotics make me feel (constipated, itchy, nauseous, etc.) so I wanted to try something different after my shoulder surgery. I couldn’t seem to find the right blend, I started with the cbd, which had no effect on #pain or mind whatsoever, then full plant strains. Mixing it with a little tobacco and smoking it. All in all, I hadn’t found the flow right for me.
I settled on using Tylenol pm.
I had tons of narcotics left over from those surgeries. Tons.
After the third surgery that involved those bicep tendon procedures, I was in pain. I needed to find something more than Tylenol pm, which had stopped working after I used it for over a year to sleep. I finally spoke to a man who owned a medical marijuana shop and he got out his book, he #educated me on the full spectrum of the plant. I found what worked for me. I got excited about the future and knew I was going to heal from that surgery. The 3rd and most invasive one.
Then my ex crippled me. He did it when he saw me getting better. During #lockdown.
When he realized I would be ok: he commented on ‘how fun I was to watch’ (once again being myself; belly dancing, #singing, #painting, #Magick, #cooking,) then he #crippled me, within that week.
This hit to my spine, caused me to be severely crippled, yet somehow, keep going because I didn’t have another choice. I got away from my ex that #summer. I tried to explain how harmed I was, but my ex was in with all the medical staff, allowing them to be misled. I wanted to know if there were any signs I needed to pay attention to that were subtle; that were causing me to lose consciousness….my ex misled the doctor into thinking it was about something else. I finally got away from my ex though! I learned it was from #Autonomicdysrelexia because of the #t7-10 spine hit-accurately from #neurogenicbowels and bladder(‘reminiscent #brownsequard’ )all completely conducive with my #injury, the experiences after and what I learned about after experiencing it.
For women who are #Isolated, Medical marijuana stores allow for us to access medicine we know is safe. It gives a #social interaction, no matter how few times a year it takes place-(I don’t go very frequently and I don’t purchase much at a time. I use it conservatively typically 2.5mg-7.5mg daily, with regular breaks, I’m trying to fully #heal!).
That interaction has our location & information and we are in someone’s legal system. Recorded. If someone
Else is using our #ID, etc.
There is a record of it.
We need #protection now more than ever. #Humantraffickingawareness being the 3rd most profitable business in the World!
A woman is killed by an intimate partner or #family member every 10minutes.
We need to be able to access medicine we can #trust!
Businesses aren’t going to drug us. They aren’t going to traffick us. They aren’t going to erase footage of when we were there.
We need to have that #connection to help us keep safe in the World that allows our abusers to walk free, a World that allows for human trafficking and #rape. A world that isolates and #torments us into silence! If you’re going to continue to allow us to be tormented, you can’t take away how we survive it!
The difference between me staying #ambulatory with these injuries and having quality of life, because of marijuana is huge. It helped me stay upright, when I shouldn’t have been.
It’s important to note, that for me personally, I don’t need any substances to be content or find joy. I have endured major trauma on this earth, my #happiness stems from what is #within me.
It took me some getting used to accepting this as medicine. No matter what my ‘#hippie’ like stance on marijauna was to start, it was strange to use as medicine. Now, I’m so grateful for it. It’s why I speak up for it all the time! Before I believed in it as medicine and advocated for it! Now, even more so, because of my personal experiences and how much it has helped me.
I should be able to go to Peru, South America or anywhere, and purchase medical marijuana at a shop. They could pull up my file, name, injury, what I use it for, and help me find what I need. Healing in a climate like that, is easier. Obviously. I needed medical refuge, which is why I went there. It wasn’t a vacation, I don’t have money for a vacation, I need to heal my body, so I can make a living, because our #ssd system is a joke. It’s a failing system that was just horribly unjust to me, and acted like it wasn’t, while I now await another decision, determining my fate…..I’m crippled, I’m doing my best. I tried my hardest: I died of autonomic dysreflexia 7 times! What more do they want from me?!?!
I figured out how to stay #alive, it isn’t good enough. This earth is hell.
& Now we are taking steps backwards because of dishonorable smucks in power!?
I was around marijauna more than once in Peru, but I didn’t ask about purchasing any, because I use it for medicine. It’s important I have access to what works for my injury and my body.
My #ONE body, I’ve had all my life.
It’s amazed me, how many people have argued with me, about my body. Like they were in it or something!?!?! It’s unbelievable. This is my ONE body. I don’t get another one.
Women need all the help we can get to stay safe. Many #communities would rather gossip about us, than hear the truth. It’s what #society has taught and conditioned.
This has been the worst for me and on me, out of everyone, it’s my life: my one body.
Taking steps backwards with marijauna is negligent and obviously only so that #bigpharma, #tobacco and #alcohol companies, whose hands are in the pockets of an obvious group, can continue to control the market. It’s disgusting that anyone is allowing it. Especially those businesses.
There is more than enough proof of the benefits of marijuana. Many of us know. Please keep it legal for those of us who need that connection to place and space & access to #safe medicine.
If it’s once more illegal, & If your #lucky, and needed to access weed safely, outside a medical shop, hopefully it isn’t a dealer of other substances, because imagine if your just there to buy an 1/8th of pot, and someone surveilling thinks your there for another reason.
Going back to getting busted for a small portion of #weed, that you use because society allows abusive men to harm you, with the consequences on you-is ridiculous. It’s completely abhorrent.
As I warned about this happening, I was a spectacle for horrible individuals, that think targeting a middle aged, crippled and #autistic woman is amusing. They need some #hobbies, clearly.
My ex who crippled me, got away with it. His #lawyer not only attacked my using medical marijuana for the spine injury, bicep tendon injury and shoulder injury, as well as a whole new level of already existing ptsd; that HIS client gave me, but he also attacked my spiritual practices, connection to #god/allah/shiva and my character. They tried to make me seem crazy and dramatic. A jury found him not guilty and community heard the gossip and lies and swallowed it whole. Just like they did all my life. I guess there is what everyone thinks about you, then there is the truth.
If anyone wants to know truth, let me know.
One reason I have always loved #astrology is it outlines your strengths and weaknesses.
Part of growing is learning how to become better. I’m not ashamed to admit that I’ve made mistakes. I’ve never done anything I couldn’t live with and I’ve never crippled or harmed another.
The prosecutor working that case had asked if I was doing a ‘pagan marijuana ritual’ ………..
I am a #Shaman, #Sufi, #Witch, by bloodline and spirit. I was born this way and I’ve studied, practiced and honed in on my powers. I’ve never been a ‘bad witch’ but some believed it to be true….
I was using marijuana for the injuries given to me, by this man. The man that I filed a complaint about! The one I reported for crippling me!! That’s why I am using marijuana, #prosecutor. My spiritual practices are who I AM.
My #Magickal and #spiritual practice has always been powerful. More so, WITHOUT the use of ANY substance. It dulls my gift.
I had to get used to my #gift with marijauna. It was different. After my ex crippled me, it took me WEEKS to be able to have a shaman meditation….he broke the #connection between my body and spine with that hit! I was scared he destroyed my gift……luckily a few weeks later, I did a shamanic healing, that I have written about before, to a cave for healing where a star #tetrahedron was placed where he severed, when he knocked me unconscious with that blow to the t7-10 spine. It is unfunny to me.
What an interesting process this has been.
I wanted to help people.
I wanted to get a crew of people together and do trials; to see if we could really help people have a chance at a more natural way of healing. I learned a lot because I had to live this, #die from it, then learn about it.
God/allah/shiva kept me alive for a reason and no lawyer, corrupt government official, privileged jerk, abusive society, or abuser of mine, is going to take that away. It is between God/allah/shiva and I.