Before creating a gofundme, my instincts were to attempt to go back to work.
During my four year abusive relationship; I had within one year, three shoulder repairs. If my ex hadn’t been abusive, I would’ve only needed one.
He took the opportunity to hide physical abuse within my surgeries, while misleading medical and community professionals intentionally.
My third and most invasive surgery was two bicep tendon repairs on the same shoulder and a procedure in which 7 anchors were placed in my shoulder joint. My bicep tendons were still not healed only eight months later, when he hit me in the spine with a chair. There was also a large amount of psychological and other forms of abuse as well.
I had a job held for me after my first surgery-a job I loved. Unfortunately needing three surgeries created an unsuspecting bad timing and then when I was ready to job search-he crippled me.
5 months after he crippled me-I knew I was hurt really bad and unfortunately, his and other’s intentionally misleading people-caused for this awful situation to become worse. Much worse. I got away from him, four years and four months ago-September 23, 2020-
I still tried to go back to work. I knew I was losing consciousness from ‘dying’ or what two years later, I learned was called ‘autonomic dysreflexia.’
Me being hit in one side of my spine evidently was ‘lucky.’ It kept me ambulatory. I did not know there was such a thing as an ‘ambulatory’ spinal cord injury. I was suffering from neurogenic bowels which caused much pain in my abdomen as well as caused autonomic dysreflexia. I was unable to fully empty my bladder and my lower extremities were drastically altered. He had been intentionally and psychotically misleading in regards to my physical form-with choices to drug me, as to hide his future abuse-it was pre-meditated.
He had access to many substances.
Despite being terrified of him and knowing how bad I was hurt-I tried to go back to work, attempting to do the work the great spirit reiterated to me, I was meant to do-in March of 2020-work with kids. I have always been good with them, including the extensive time I spent with his daughter.
I worked at a daycare, during the peak of the pandemic, giving full disclosure of my physical disability and expressing it was caused by domestic abuse.
It’s a small area. Everyone should have noticed a huge change in my physical form-unfortunately it looks like the intentional rumors took hold, greatly changing my experience and also my livelihood and future; including but not limited to medical, economical and social life.
I tried multiple jobs and when I realized I needed to seek medical refuge-I was urged to instead seek the federal systems of social security Disabiity-in which I paid in the 22 years of my working life. I worked all the time.
These systems failed me-somewhat intentionally, because the intention was to human Traffick me.
This was almost successful.
The rumors-the framing/shaming/blaming of jealous or dangerous individuals, the inability for most to see the horrible truth-the truth that I saw, even if it was barely in time to save my own life.
I started a website for my business in 2020-a business idea I designed in 2009, studied for from 2014-2017, created a Facebook page in 2015 and my web page created in 2020.
I attempted an Etsy site, selling my imperfect art.
Something I found I could focus on, with this injury-even if it still irritates my bicep tendon-not properly healed because of my need for ambulatory devices (ever since he hit me in my spine I used a walking stick outdoors in nature) art was something I have always done on the side-like all my ‘passion projects and hobbies’ that were interwoven into my business, Triple Goddess Healing Arts and Movement or About – Triple Goddess Arts
Trying to promote my business put me in worse danger-because of some of the rumors, rumors that made me even more unsafe than I already was. Rumors designed to keep me unsafe and unsuccessful.
When I didn’t have cellular and without WiFi, no way to connect to anyone, from 2023-2024 my life was a bit more scary.
I did my best to consistently communicate the danger I was in via social media, as well as writing to the President of the USA, government officials and speaking about to people who ‘care,’ about the situation and its danger. It became clear to me in Summer of 2023, I wasn’t going to be taken seriously. My abuser also got away with everything during his paid jury trial of March 5, 2022. In July of 2023 I had to give away over half my belongings and last minute, my car-not road ready and so unusable, I rented a storage unit for the remainder of my things.
I left on foot with a walker and spinal cord injury, with under 3000$ in my pocket.
I had two credit cards and excellent credit, I waited until I was 30 to have my first cards and I helped my ex pay of his credit cards when I was only 20. I learned to be very good with my money. Very good, by the time I was 23/24.
I believed Disabiity social security would be honorable and I was hopeful I could design my life, around this new disabled body I have, because of a man crippling me.
However, it looks like this journey for me took an even worse turn. One where people took it as an opportunity to embarrass me further and attempt to discredit me as an individual.
The intentional misleading of government officials took place, whether by their own involvement or because they were misled by individuals with power or sway, is for them to say-
This put me in further danger.
Traffickers knew that I was isolated, that no one was really paying attention.
Traffickers in which some did this in retaliation for believing me to be a ‘rat,’ some pimps for saying ‘no’ in a normal situation a woman said yes-I wouldn’t become a prostitute like they wanted, & some for needing to use me as scapegoat for their drug trade and bad business abilities, losers, and others, because they needed me disappeared to get away with what they have done and are doing.
I left my country having faith everything would work out.
It didn’t.
I ended up in a place of 11Million people, intentionally, so traffickers could successfully disappear me better. I created a gofundme
It was unsuccessful-
I continued to post on social media.
I continued to alert authority about the dangers of myself and others-who were in danger, because of these same individuals, to no avail, and the misleading intentionally of the dangerous individuals themselves.
When Disability social security was decided by a WOMAN judge-she sealed my fate, placing me in further danger-all due to her own ignorance and negligence as a judicial official.
I was then in debt from credit cards and perhaps even to some of the individuals who believed they ‘purchased’ me already.
The first month I was in Peru after going back because no one in my home and area took this seriously-I paid almost 800$ on my credit card in rent for a month, the second month I paid half and was asked when ‘he’ was arriving-I stated there was no he, that I was alone, and I prayed no one with power was misleading more individuals at my detriment.
The hopeless romantic in me, believed after three years of celibacy (now it’s been four years and four months) after enduring such hell, perhaps love really could find me…..
The logical woman, seeing behind trauma, realized I needed to be safe and cautious.
Once I realized social security wouldn’t come through-because of the dishonorable woman judge-I needed to make my way back home….where all the danger I lived through and was put through, started anyways.
Peru, South America is dangerous in part because of the triangulation of individuals like those here, who put me in danger all my life.
I was able to get a cellular active February 2024, after one year without one-thanks to the donations of gofundme I was able to keep my cards current, which was my ONLY safety net-unfortunately now one is closed and still in debt-putting me closer to further danger- until I have control over my own finances, I will not be safe!
I narrowly avoided being trafficked again,
once back home-however, I still haven’t been able to successfully educate community members on the truth of my life, this is due in fact to the lies spread, intentionally, to help individuals hide who they are, or get away with their involvement.
I do not desire to shame anyone, I only desire to do my part in ending human trafficking.
The fourth and final appeals of my social security was decided and denied-more HORRIFIC and TERRIBLE judgement by uneducated or just plain careless, judicial officials-
This is what has caused me to go into credit card debt-saving my own life.
I was not on vacation in Peru South America, as some careless individuals misled causing me to be in more danger-I was attempting to save my own life.
I am grateful for the help I received and I give thanks every single day, it doesn’t change the nature of my situation.
Until I have control of my life and finances, I am not safe!!!!
No matter who tells the story different to suit their own guilt or agenda.
I have been home almost a year.
I live in conditions that are better than they could have been, but not something most of society would be comfortable in.
I continue to be met with resistance from medical here in the USA and evidently, law enforcement that was misled.
This is not a trivial matter.
This is my life.
Until I am able to adapt and receive adequate medical care, having a sustained income, I can not even exist in society.
Which is what keeps me unsafe longer.
Now I am crippled-no matter how good others think I make it look-if you knew me before, you would absolutely be able to tell.
This gofundme is a lifeline.
It is to help me pay off my credit card debt-debt I only have from needing to seek medical refuge and attempting to save my own life-this allows me to purchase minor things that are necessary for life. It allows me to keep a cellular-it allows me to continue to self study as I have no income-no way to educate myself to a standard that would allow me a job with this situation. It allows me a small lifeline, until a logical miracle occurs.
Society continues to push me further away and isolate me, this is dangerous.
I can not make a future like this-I have been trying.
It is unfortunate so many believed the lies, contributing to me being more unsafe.
I continue to speak the truth about what I experienced here in Maine, all my life, because it is an important foundation for understanding human trafficking , how it occurs, how it is triangulated between other countries and ports. These are important conversations.
I am almost 39. I loved my life, working all the time, even for a low wage and income, I was happy. Able bodied. I would’ve made magick happen, even after this injury, if only systems and people were honorable.
They are not however-so this is it.
This is where I’m at.
I say the same things.
I beg for help.
I pray for guidance and a pathway to open.
I can’t do much else but get through each day.
I pray the RIGHT government officials will see the truth and understand, then make a positive difference.
So far it would seem the wrong ones have.
These people who Traffick are clever. They know what to do. How to mislead.
Please Be vigilant and see the truth.
Educate our communities and youth. Especially our youth!!!!
I went through hell. I gained control of my life back little by little-I loved my life, then this happened. I didn’t expect a trafficker to hide in a romantic partner. This is a tactic used. He is a well placed member of society and him along with other influential individuals purposely misled the most people, to cause the most damage.
See the truth. I gain nothing in speaking it.