Blog by: Katherine Lily Mae Harris
I worked in customer service for 22 years. Before that, I grew up helping out on my step Grandfather’s dairy farm, helping my Dad hay, blueberry raking, yard work, babysitting and taking care of our small mini farm, outdoor chores and indoor house work.
My first plan was to be a Ballerina (supposedly
I was a good dancer young) & then, help my Dad retire by working the farm, like he did for his step Dad. Instead the farm got sold off in 1997. The land sold. The barn just torn down in 2021.
I started as a salon assistant and receptionist at 14. The year 2000.
I really loved that job and it was going to be my vocation. It was my dream job. I loved my boss, the people I worked with, the clients, my hometown. I dressed up and I was VERY fashionable. Always in 6 or 7inch stilettos.
I wanted a salon and a boutique that held my own designs, because I planned on going to fashion and design school. I wanted my designs at my place and to sell in a favorite outdoor store here in Maine. My mom taught me to sew at 7, when I made my first outfit.
Unfortunately for me, highschool was a nightmare and what I experienced in those years outside of school was pretty horrible. My jobs were my consistency.
After the salon job ended, I started waitressing.
Around age 16, I worked at a Dennys, mostly overnights. I loved that job too, but I got tired and sometimes napped on the counter when no one was in. It taught me how to be a really good waitress. The rush after 1am and the early morning customers, taught me great multi tasking and customer service. After this, I had an array of jobs in which other blogs I already mentioned.
I worked a lot and I loved it.
Out of the 22 years I worked, I only drew off my unemployment benefits once. In my early 20s. It was a little over a month. Other than that, I held a steady job and I had a great reputation as a bartender and waitress. If I quit a job, I would get offers, because I was reliable, consistent and really good at waitressing and bartending.
I listened to a lot of people over the years and I learned a lot.
I learned about the healthcare systems in other Countries that are not reliant on big pharma, like the USA is.
For example, doctors have the power in those countries. They call and negotiate prices, for let’s say, a hip replacement. They call the companies and say, if you give me this price, I will use you for all the hip replacements. They do this with medications, as well as equipment, and it allows the cost of healthcare to be cheaper and the power to be in the hands of the physicians. Allowing them to do their job and abide by their oath.
When waitressing, I gave people little bits of advice here and there or fun facts. Mostly I just did my job.
‘How are you? What can I get for you? Do you need anything else?’
I didn’t talk about my goals, my hobbies, my ambitions. I just worked. I made my money.
I had a life plan. A third life plan at 23.
Triple goddess healing arts and movement.
In 2009 I was doing free tarot readings regularly for people, before that, I was doing free astrology readings, back when you had to mathematically compute a chart.
2009 is when I planned on TGA and I began making it a reality after saving enough money to get my certifications. My plan was to do so before 30. I accomplished the goal at 29. I always had the same hobbies and interests I have now, I just have more experience in them and because of my injury, it forced me to attempt to make them my main vocation now.
I have always been resilient.
Been through and survived a lot of hell; without speaking about it.
Autism and select mutism is real.
Delayed processing is real.
Often times I would have ptsd reactions to something, without knowing it was ptsd. Years later, when the reaction was no longer, I realized it was ptsd.
This makes for an interesting experience. Sort of a warrior like personality.
It causes to move forward in ways others find strange. It’s because I just needed a minute to handle all the other processing in my brain. Especially when it comes to trauma. I was overlooked in youth and clumped into the ‘other reasons’ for a kid being withdrawn. The thing is, I was traumatized and being put through hell. How many others like me, were overlooked all because it was assumed they had the same ‘typical issues’ as everyone else.
I lived in and out of home, I left because of abuse. I didn’t talk about it. I forgave everyone and believed everything would be ok. My family didn’t want to get involved. I moved around like a foster kid. My belongings sometimes held hostage, given away, or lost in transition.
A cop’s daughter I lived with, blamed a party she had, on me, while I was at work. Waitressing. I was underage. Her sister came in to borrow my car that her sister sold me, with the help of a friend’s mom. She then didn’t return the car. Even though she received the money for it. I had to go get it.
I was then targeting by police in the area and pulled over on my way home from work, driving without a license. I didn’t have one yet. I had to drop out of highschool. I wasn’t going to get to go to college.
This blaming her party on me, led to me having a warrant out for my arrest. I tried to join the navy and was told, I had a warrant-I said ‘What for?!’
I went and ‘turned myself in.’
I then went to the DA and explained what happened after bringing a letter from the landlord stating I wasn’t the one having the party and I wasn’t on the lease (I was underage) a letter from my boss stating I was at work that night, and I asked her what next. She said ‘see you in court.’
Ok. When I showed up that day, the case was thrown out.
I was my own lawyer at 17.
Life was not going to be, for me, what it was for the kids of privelage.
That’s ok. I made life work, even if it was a little messy for a while.
More trauma. More moving forward. In 2009 when I decided on TGA, I felt I had a focus and nothing would stop me.
This was my third life plan. Third times a charm, right?!
It would have been. If I didn’t end up with my abusive ex.
Systems
Systems
Systems
My ex harmed me one week before my first shoulder surgery, body slamming me off the bed-I landed on my collarbone. I screamed terrified out the window. The cops couldn’t find me.
I did a picture series that should have been connected. If anyone was paying attention, that scream, then that drawing, should have been a tell.
No one noticed a thing. It’s ok. I didn’t talk about it, make a big deal about it, in fact, I downplayed it. Like I did all my life while being tormented.
I foolishly believed that the surgeon would be able to fix any damage he caused, during the first surgery….wrong. It was arthroscopic. I needed two more surgeries.
The final one, I was told my bicep tendons were hanging on by a thread. They were being sawed off by that collarbone fracture my ex caused…..it was painful.
Eight months after that 3rd surgery he crippled me, during the pandemic, when I was ready to go back to work. I had a bank interview and a connection that could have gotten me the job.
Once I got away from him, late September of 2020-I refused to let him stop my dreams and my life. All I needed was my land, my yurt and then my earthship.
Easy.
I’m good with budgeting and money, I know how to manage my time, I just didn’t know how to manage my ambulatory spinal cord injury.
I tried multiple job attempts while dying of autonomic dysreflexia, I believed once I got that thoracic mri I was begging for since 2020, everything would be ok. When I spoke to my ex from Saudi-he wasn’t ever abusive when we were together, I was harassed by my government and my mri was covered up in 2021.
Medically they changed everything from thoracic issues to lumbar on my records…..though I NEVER complained of lumbar spine. It was always THORACIC after he struck me. T7-10.
I believed everyone would be honorable and do the right thing.
In April of 2021 I began posting online about my injury and the abuse I survived. It was when the temporary PFA (protection from abuse) against him was lifted.
By the end of April, I realized honor wasn’t going to be what was chosen by people here.
I realized I needed to leave my country for medical refuge.
Yes-leave the USA for fair medical treatment in a place that isn’t ruled by big pharma and abusers. I saved money and at the recommendation of my Sufi mentor, decided to apply for the systems I paid in to for 22 years. A modest sum, for MANY hours worked. Why do you think the rich urge we don’t speak of religion, politics or Money?
Because if we knew….we would unite.
I made $12-$28000 a year all my life! I made Magick with that money, saving and planning for a future, studying, budgeting, continuing education…..I couldn’t afford college.
So I stayed here.
I applied for unemployment. The man said ‘you know you’re not entitled to this right?’ Hmm, who is then? Why did I pay it in and my employers match it? 22 years! Also-the whole country got 300$ a week during the pandemic for nothing, wealthy people got loans because of coronavirus-I made minimum wage at a daycare with a spinal cord injury that is a life threatening level-what a rude man.
I applied for the ssd.
Not to LIVE off of, to REDESIGN my life.
I did an art project everyday.
Guess no one knew I’ve always been an artist too. An artist, dancer, singer, healer, a Magickal spiritual woman, a non performing athlete, interested in entomology, physics, astronomy, astrology, chemistry, quantum physics, I’ve been interested in all of this all my life-guess I didn’t talk about it enough as a waitress.
I got a swim membership to use for the therapy pool-I’ve always loved to swim since I was 2 and this was major for healing sci. I couldn’t afford to keep it though.
I Tried to heal with mind and mantra. I applied for school because they had a program that helped financially for the first few years-I signed up for classes. I was denied ssd once, then twice…..ok, nothing will stop me!
The college Financial aid changed requirements one week before I was to begin. I couldn’t go. However I’m proud to say I have competed 14 free (audited)
Courses through #EdX and almost finished two more. Which would make it 16 since 2022 of April. I would have absolutely received a #degree by now if systems here were honorable.
Everyone said-it’s the #system. It’s the system.
Ok-
So how do we change it?!?!?!
I asked for my #community to stand outside the hospital covering up my mri via coding.
I wrote help on my window, listing the date and time of my mri and asked for help uncoding it.
I tried to get help getting hand controls for my car.
I posted on social media what was happening and the reasons why.
I posted I needed a from home job, or a mobility scooter and certain things to change in order to move forward.
My business TGA (Triple Goddess Healing Arts and Movement) has had a Facebook since 2015. A website since 2020. I tried to promote that. Nothing.
I stayed positive and tried to be as #sovereign as I could, while being justifiably angry at the systems and dishonor.
I was #empathetic about the mistakes made by others regarding my situation and because I would never do to others what they have knowingly done to me, I believed they would change. Have #honor. Have #integrity. That we could handle it from the inside.
Change it!
Take the system and update it!
Instead I got shadow banned. Erased. Silenced and laughed at.
By the privelaged people causing it, or paid for it.
I tried an Etsy page for my #art. I was determined to not need a gofundme page.
Prideful, independent, and DETERMINED to make my #life work!
I was almost trafficked and I had to give away over my half belongings-I left on foot—all topics I’ve written about-but I’m being shadow banned, so can it hurt repeating them? I’m still not being helped, so can it hurt repeating them?!
I still can’t understand why so many are so dishonorable.
I am so upset, because I didn’t deserve this.
This wasn’t #Justice. This wasn’t my #karma. This was injustice and then silencing to get away with it. This was their EARNED bad karma.
I started a gofundme September of 2023, believing systems would FINALLY be honorable. Believing I would need only a little help before things changed.
I was denied ssd a third time because of a judge that had a vendetta. My therapist wrote a letter stating she believed I should be awarded the money, as I am crippled and have a tendency to downplay traumatic events as well as I have ptsd.
The woman judge stated- ‘it is not up to her therapist to decide, but me, the judge’ WOW, in a bad way. My therapist is a really phenomenal and strong woman. Seeing a woman judges reaction to her, was off putting.
So many vendettas-
Lots of people blaming me for things they already experienced and wanting me to suffer OR believing they were avenging others for things they perceived my fault, when they were the ones causing it.
The appeals denied. I was almost erased. My iPhone 7 wiped and attempts to wipe this one made multiple Times. Thanks hidden #angels. May you
Always have all the power. Inshallah.
I wrote to government systems, & the President. I wrote to local government to try and prevent worse war.
I was tormented more. Silenced more. In danger more.
How could I know so much?
Lessons in helping muggles (non Magickal people or the ones who forgot their Magick) just don’t. They are suspicious so they #believe you are. They think you are a spy, or worse, part of it.
I’m just an honorable #woman, doing my job as a human being. Want to talk to my boss?
It’s god/allah/shiva.
So systems……
Systems.
Systems.
IF
Ssd had approved me the first time. They would have looked at my job history (22 years employed paying in every year) consistent employment until the abusive relationship, as stated. Signed up for school-etc.
awarded me the money.
I could have gotten hand controls for my car, a mobility scooter and a degree which would have allowed me to have already been paying back in to the ‘system’ and benefiting our country.
So why would a countries systems be designed to destroy it from within?
Stupidity!?
I can’t think of another reason.
Over 40% of our homeless population is DISABLED PHYSICALLY! I wrote that to the president in February 2023!
If systems were honorable and run by people trying to help, then our country would be successful.
The defense fund doesn’t have to report their activities.
How do you feel about paying for our government to harass innocent civilians, like myself?
In Germany, armed forces have a right to refuse if something doesn’t align with them morally, I wonder how many people harassing me, were ashamed? Are they still alive or were they killed off by who gave the order?
Instead of targeting #autistic middle aged crippled women, kinder than most and having more honor and integrity than many, why don’t you use that money to help the SYSTEM?
It’s unfortunate so many people web trap today, (manipulate things for their own benefit or gain or plan to cause disruption and harm for their own advantage) a world without web trapping, would be a world of honor. Then the will of God could actually be seen.
Why does the press wait until they have a ‘top story’ or ‘good story’ before reporting on issues that need changing and with the right people working on it-making that change immediate?!
Do you know how many people are caught in the middle of unnecessary drug wars, like I was?! So many!
Pointless wars that kill everyone because corrupt government won’t change. How many people need to die before anyone actively listens and does something about it?!?!
For EVERYONES families!!
Why do government officials preach what they will do to become elected and then not make change?
SYSTEMS.
Time to redesign the system or to at the very least, have new people operating them.
See through the web trap though. It’s a tangled mess.
Imagine a world where doctors were in control of medicines and supplies, treatment and the people.
A world where systems were designed to help instead of cause harm.
A world that cared about everyone’s family.
A world focused on sustainability, NOT making some rich and most suffer.
This isn’t utopian.
It is LOGIC.
Will we see a logical world?!
I don’t know.
I #hope so.
