What about HIS business?
The #audacity behind this statement!!!
What about MY #ONE #BODY!
What about MY #BUSINESS?!?
Blog by: Katherine Lily Mae Harris
(Photos from random trainings, certifications and workshops)
#Stability and #consistency.
The #goals of my life.
I was almost there too.
Finally, and yet, right on schedule.
Until he #crippled me.
Even after that, I could’ve made something good out of a bad situation, but #systems I paid in to for #22 years, failed miserably.
My #independence, #pride and inability to properly convey myself, caused for this to be my #life.
I didn’t want to need a go fund me. I wanted to be able to redesign my life!
All the #hobbies I had, they could’ve produced enough of an income until those systems, the ones we pay in to, as working #American Citizens, helped me #redesign my life. I tried working 5 different jobs, my #website, an #Etsy page, all to no avail. I was met with sarcasm and sabotage.
Where does the #money I paid in and my employers matched, go?
If I was denied the money I paid in, to redesign my life as a crippled, then who gets it?
Is it the #woman who never worked in her life?
Is it the young person who has #anxiety?
Is it the #defense fund?
By all logic, they should have paid me. Then I would already be self sufficient and paying back in to those systems.
The systems that are supposedly designed for US.
They aren’t though.
What about HIS business?
The #audacity behind this statement!!!
What about MY #ONE #BODY!
What about MY #BUSINESS?!?
HIS business?! The one he had and built because his ex wife had enough money to allow him to do so easily?
What about my life?!?!
I didn’t have anyone’s money to pave the way to my #future. I had myself and my ONE BODY.
My one body, he CHOSE to harm again and again.
He CRIPPLED me!
I didn’t want to let it keep me down.
When we met my life was going well.
I had invested about $100,000 of MY own MONEY in my future and my business.
Triple Goddess Healing Arts and Movement.
A place that was designed for women in mind.
When I fell upon the idea in 2009, it felt #perfect.
It incorporated everything I was passionate about and allowed me to #help people. Something I did, but didn’t film, so I guess it didn’t count to the general public.
It was supposed to happen gradually.
Little by little.
With my ABLE body it could have.
It could have if systems I paid in 22 years had been #honorable, or the people operating them had. Deciding my #fate as if I’m a #number, or a mosquito. Something to swat at, & get out of the way.
All I needed was my #land. Then my #yurt. Then building my #earth ship over time. Designing the #property how I wanted. It all would have happened!
My #dream come true.
My consistency and stability.
Then to someday have a #spouse and a #family.
That was my big dream all my life.
What of it now?
I’m 39 & crippled, I can’t let anyone near me until I have control of my life. Will I ever get to be a mother now? What about that? That he crippled me and may have taken away my ability to be a #MOTHER?!?!
‘Well, what about his business?’ The one he built with his exes money.
Yeah-
What about his business?
He could work anywhere.
He is #talented.
He is #terrifying too.
Let’s focus on his talent though.
He had plenty of money in the bank, a skill, and an ABLE body. Because he crippled #ME, not the other way around.
Yet everyone’s concern was for him?
Strange.
Unsurprising too.
All that money I spent #investing in my future. I often didn’t talk about my #goals when I was working. I was a #waitress and #bartender. Not many people want to ‘get to know’ their server…..which is fine. I didn’t do the job to be known. I did it because I was good at it, and I love #food. I love #cooking, I love eating and I genuinely loved the #hospitality industry. I loved hearing about others lives and helping them decide on a dish, especially when I worked as a waitress in my favorite Thai restaurant. I loved helping people in little ways….’fun facts….’ Or from my training or self study.
There were so many plans that centered around these interests and #TGA incorporated them all.
When I first created my #website, I had a link to all the places I studied, because I wanted others to know that if they wanted to study from the #source, they could make it happen! I did! A small town girl who grew up in a #trailer! I made it work! So can you!
Yet; even this gesture was #misunderstood and wrongly interpreted.
My #business was never going to make me a million dollars, but it was going to be #helpful. It was going to provide me with what I needed.
Little by little I would have phased out waitressing, envisioning a shift a week that I kept, because I loved my job at the Thai restaurant. I loved the food too. A lot.
I would offer my services to people who needed them, in exchange for a potato, or barter system. Or if they could afford it, money. I had a life goal designed that allowed me to do that….it was #perfect for me.
Now it is far away.
Further away than before I started.
I mean, really. After everything, what was the point.
Because I live in a place that said, ‘what about his business!?’ Instead of, ‘What about her ONE body?!’ ‘What about HER business? #HER future?!’
I knew that being an #astrologer, #tarot reader, #artist, #dancer/#teacher, #yoga posture instructor, #healer and #Magick woman, wasn’t going to be lucrative, but it was what I wanted. It was what would have been #rewarding. It was my path.
It would have worked.
I made connections with people.
One of my teachers from #ANHC Calangute, Goa, #India, I planned on bringing here, having a working relationship. Being able to supply the products needed for patients that she saw. 180hour #Ashtanga Ayurveda certificate from 2015. It could have been a meaningful relationship that would have helped people.
I envisioned studying Ayurveda more in depth as I got older and began phasing out from #movement teaching.
The mahout I worked with in #Thailand 2014, I wanted to someday (#retirement age) buy land in Thailand and open an #elephant #sanctuary, he and his family could live there, instead of him working for elephant camps.
It would have provided sanctuary for elephants as well as allowed him and his family t generate an income, larger than working for camps and with freedom. He cares about his elephants. A lot. Working with elephants was absolutely amazing. One of the best times in my life.
I wanted to little by little get an #art #therapy degree to incorporate it into my art practice. Into my #shamanic work.
I have always been good with #kids and passionate about #helping them, inspiring them, facilitating a safe place for #expression and healing through self mastery.
I wanted to continue to study #belly dance! Out of All the dance in the World I’ve fallen in love with, I LOVE belly dance. Since 2012 when I decided it would be a focus it felt aligned! I LOVED teaching belly dance! Loved how it made people feel!
I was helped so much by yoga postures in 2008, I really wanted to learn more about this practice. I am not a vegan and do not adhere perfectly to yogic principles, but the movement, the #philosophy, I align with it and it made sense to me. During my first yoga class in 2008 I remember the teacher having us lay down in resting pose, I closed my #eyes and I pulled this #rainbow light all around my body. #Envisioning it enveloping my entire being, inside and out.
It inspired me to study #reiki-which I became certified in 2014.
Reiki was exactly what I spent my life doing, I just didn’t know it had a name, and I didn’t know the #symbols that were used…..
I used to hold #babies and send them #energy that was suitable to their needs. I used to send out #land healing and envision it being what was needed.
One of the most #powerful days studying reiki, was when the teacher had one person lay on the floor in front of us at a time, and we sent energy to that individual, in the form of healing. Every single person could see exactly what I sent. It really inspired me to continue energy healing.
I also incorporated #voice healing into my healing sessions-I am a #singer.
Studying Ayurveda we learned all about Ayurvedic #massage.
I had a #table and literally EVERYTHING I needed for my future.
I just needed my ABLE body.
Or those systems I paid in to, 22 years, to step up for me to #REDESIGN my whole life, because a man crippled me, and I’m part of a place in the World that says…….
Someday writing the many books I had planned and some even began, yet when others hack into your devices and steal them, what’s the point! If I had been paid for my writing, I would have made a lot of money by now. It’s all been successful.
What about his #business?
That he built with his ex wive’s #money…….?
I had no desire to sue him.
No desire to ruin his life or his BUSINESS.
I had a desire to be #SAFE in my community and home.
I wanted him to get HELP.
I wanted to move forward in my life.
To pursue my #goal.
#Stability and #consistency.
That life long goal-now so far away.
Because-
What about his business?
What about all the people’s lives who chose to #rape me? #Abuse me? #Traffick me? Use me? #Exploit me? #Oppress me? Medically #torture me? #Cripple me? Lie about me?
Because what about them?!
What about them?!?!?!
They CHOSE to do those things to me! So why am I living THEIR earned bad #karma???
Because I am part of a #society that ALLOWS it.
A society that feels comfortable with what’s #easiest, instead of the #TRUTH or what is RIGHT.
So what about my life and future???
Well, people decided I was worthy of being #homeless. Of being #trafficked. Of being #killed off. That’s what they decided I was worth.
Because what about HIM, right?
Why did I fight so hard to get away from him, & keep his child safe, all so that society could show me that they didn’t ever give a damn about me anyways.
I was so prideful I wanted to do it alone! I wanted to go back to work. He held me #hostage for years. His #domestic slave.
I wanted to try and make a life.
If I had sat home and collected that $300 a week for nothing, during the pandemic, like most Americans, I wouldn’t need help. I would have saved plenty.
So many people, including my ex, received #loans for #free they didn’t even need!
I worked at a daycare because I was dying of autonomic dysreflexia from blunt force trauma (though I didn’t know the name of AD, yet) I wanted to do something #meaningful, because I didn’t know if I would stay dead one of those times.
I used to bring my exes #daughter to the place I worked. I believed in the #principles of the place.
If I had been able bodied, it would have been perfect and on the side I could have been teaching dance, yoga and promoting my business.
Instead I was barely #surviving. I loved my time with those #kids though. I don’t regret it.
Being a good person in this #World, it isn’t easy and most will take #advantage of you.
When I applied for systems I paid in to for 22 years, I was met with #sarcasm and #cruelty by the people operating them, that had just come back to work, after receiving that $300 a week for nothing, for years. Money that I could have made Magick with.
Yet, I wanted to do something meaningful…..
Being a good person……
In earth hell.
Wow.
So what about my body?
Will medical be #honorable?
What about the systems I paid in 22 years?
Will they be honorable after THEIR mistake?
What about MY business?
Will I ever have stability and consistency and the ability to make my simple #dreams come true…..
Who knows, because here in the #USA, in 2025, we still say…..’what about HIM?’ More than anything else.
#Woman.
#Life.
#Freedom.
When #America?
When?
