To share my story involves me sharing moments that I hope, will encourage adults and youth alike to examine their surroundings better.
I hope that in doing these pieces people will begin to understand that as a whole-
who to blame is……society.
We all deserve to be a part of a society that will teach people how to work together, keep one another safe, and respect our differences.
Keeping in mind that all life is valuable and we deserve to live & love safely
And freely, no matter where we are.
Before I was a teenager, I attended a small local school in my home town. It was a phenomenal school with absolutely amazing teachers.
Yet
There was molestation and abuse going on in the basement of that grade school.
True torment occurring.
It was overall silenced.
As a young woman, I endured some horrific sexual abuse at a rollerskating rink & also under the care of some not so trustworthy family.
Luckily one of those family members is dead now. God is protective.
The horrible thing of this happening to me, is that my parents told us all the time,
‘if anyone ever touches you inappropriately, you tell us right away’
And I never said anything about what happened to me.
The truth is-I didn’t know how to process it.
I also am autistic, I’m finding out so late in life.
This in turn causes fragmented memories of trauma, which encourages those who caused it and enacted it, to gaslight your experiences.
It’s a very used up tactic of horror and shame.
In fact-lawyers and perpetrators of abuse-use it all the time today, in 2024, to get away with what they, or their clients have done to you.
They use the ‘if she can’t remember everything……how are we to know………’ in-sighting doubt in minds of those that if they knew the truth, would be horrified.
When karma strikes these individuals, I never wonder why.
I just wait.
(Forced oppression isn’t karma-that’s people…….)
You see what I learned is that going through immense trauma and abuse makes you a patient person.
When you’ve danced with death the way I have-you don’t wonder anymore if you’ll remember the steps.
Let’s dance.
As a young child I have fragmented memories of sexual abuse as well.
It is too unclear for me now to communicate about-
when you go through this much trauma and downplay it-
even to yourself,
it’s your minds way of protecting you.
Letting in only pieces at a time.
Take a deep breath. If this is triggering you, I am sorry. It’s triggering to me, to read it back after writing it.
Now-
Fast forward just a bit.
As a teenager I went out dancing to a night club. The doorman let us in, despite our ages.
I was 14.
I LOVED to dance!
I should have been safe there. That’s the thing-who’s to blame???
SOCIETY-
Because we should never be unsafe when in the presence of another human being.
We Should never be……….
But we are.
All.
The.
Time.
Mostly it was a really fun time. Dancing and dressing up.
However I learned the hard way, that people drug your drink.
All my life, I thought to offer food and drink, meant a sort of peace treaty.
That we, as human beings, don’t poison food and drink, because that is inhumane.
Plain and simple.
The first fragmented memory of it I have-
I was in a car with all men, while my friends followed behind.
After closing the trunk, I have no memory of anything other than seeing myself from above, looking down at a bridge-me surrounded by a few of the men, laid down below-(I believe the term everyone is comfortable with is ‘near death experience’)
then I woke up in a back room with a man.
Once he was done with me attempting fellatio, which I had never done before.( I was a late bloomer and very inexperienced. )
He eventually let me out of the room.
I went out to my friends looking annoyed on the couch.
I didn’t understand this reaction and never really processed it. I will never understand it.
For me-it was a night that will never make sense.
Not fully.
This happened again, a drugged drink-
only it was multiple men in a back room.
I don’t even remember leaving the club-
Just a back room.
I remember a light.
Being passed like a doll.
Not much of anything else.
I was 14.
Again-friends waiting on the couch.
I could never understand this.
I still want to put most emphasis on SOCIETY.
Would those men want that happening to their loved ones? Their daughters???? Mothers? Wives? Sisters?
Would those girls want it happening to someone they loved??
Why do we have to say that, as women, to get anyone to understand???
I am so grateful that right now we have a resurgence of people speaking up about the world’s injustice.
It’s like all the things I ever cared about are finally being brought to light-
This I hope will.
Build foundations of truth
Upon which we can build trust.
And one day, we can know peace. 
Not at this rate though.
Look at what a mess the world is.
How commemorable of the leaders in Africa right now, acknowledging what the people want and addressing the need for reform and sustainable solutions for the future.
May leaders all over the World take this stance, first, right now.
Conversations.
A world United isn’t utopian, it’s logical.
Think.
Many systems in place are accurate.
It’s the interpreting and implementation of their faulty misconception, causing the chaos.
(Their referring to anyone being dishonorable. )
Those that are doing right and attempting to execute strategy, in such a chaotic time, your intentions are good.
Just see to the heart of the matter each time, to get to where we all need to be.
It isn’t Utopian.
It’s logical.
I’m going to leave off here and speak more on my experiences next week.
‘Stay human’
Song reference by Michael a Franti and Spearhead.
A lot of amazing truths that pertain to right now-
In the album
YELL FIRE
Stay human.
Katherine Lily Mae Harris
38 year old
W-O-M-A-N
In the USA
In Maine.
In the World-
A world that
during a wild time, I hope ends in evolution.
For the good of all involved, harming none-or as few as possible.